Retort to Mr. Goodin

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July 3, 2008

No doubt some of you have read the scurrilous, prurient and rude blog entry posted recently by my sometime good friend Robert Goodin. (http://www.woodpaneledbasement.blogspot.com/)

Here you will find the real story to the “hair in the soap incident” at Comicon.

I had just finished with my dentures and toe pumicing and was looking forward to a pleasant, congenial evening with Rob and Georgene. We were planning on a bit of scrabble, bon bons and celebrity Jeopardy.

I thought it was a bit unusual for Rob not to offer me the first use of the shower (he and Georgene are well aware of my “first dibs, no diseases” personal hygene philosophy) but I “went with the flow” as they say.

Now, at past conventions we had always settled for whatever “digs” we could get. That could mean any kind of ramshackle excuse for a hotel, complete with paltry, communion host-sized complimentary soaps, which peeve me no end. So imagine my surprise to find a normal cake of soap in the shower stall. And herbal, no less! Without my bifocals I was at least able to make out the sprigs of lavender distributed throughout.

With a smile as broad as my back side I lathered and lathered and thanked my good fortune. But try as I did, I could not tease forth any lavender aroma.

My friends, those were not sprigs of lavender. Those were the pubical remnants of a very spiteful practical joker.

Rob, I don’t know what I ever, EVER did to you to deserve such a vast amount of hair.

It is because of your antics that I now lather up with dishsoap and bifocals. Thank you for adding yet another obsessive behavior to my roster.

:(